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Interview With Spot F. Bush

Instead of responding to viewer mail this week, I am very fortunate today to have the opportunity to interview Spot F. Bush the candidate for "First Dog" who shares the home of presidential candidate George W. Bush. Here is the interview:

FOZZIE: It is truly an honor to interview you today. Many people may be wondering what does the "F" stand for?

SPOT: My middle name is Fetcher. I go by Spot F to give me an identity of my own. I'm named for my dad and I never thought junior was very dignified. Besides I didn't want to have people think I should be in the White House just because my father worked there. No I'm just my mother Millie's little son-of-a-bitch.

FOZZIE: You havenít spoken out on many subjects so I would like to get your opinion on some issues. Planned Puppyhood supports spaying and neutering. Where do you stand?

SPOT: I donít support birth control. I donít see why dogs canít just say no. Dogs breeding outside of a committed relationship is the reason there are so many strays. Dogs will just have to abstain.

FOZZIE: This is a very personal question, so you may not wish to answer. Word around the kennel is that you have been neutered which is birth control. Have you been "fixed"?

SPOT: Yes. But my owners did let me make the decision. They said, "after all Spot it is your body".

FOZZIE: How about education? Have you been to school?

SPOT: Oh, yes, I have been to school. My humans sent me to a private obedience school. It was great meeting other pedigreed pups. It is such a pleasure to not have to mingle with, for want of a better word, "mongrels".

FOZZIE: Mongrels?

SPOT: You know, Democrats.

FOZZIE: Economics is a big concern. Just wondering where your next pig ear or cow hoof is coming from can really make you lose sleep. How do you feel about giving biscuits to low-income pet owners?

SPOT: I think all pet owners should get biscuits. After all it is the wealthy pet owners who pay most of the taxes so they should get biscuits too!

FOZZIE: But wouldnít it make more sense just to provide help to those that need it?

SPOT: But you donít understand, it will. The help will get to them eventually. See, I might not need the biscuits so my humans donate them to a shelter. Then dogs that need more biscuits can go to the shelter and get some more. The help will get there; just not directly. It will sort of, ah...

FOZZIE: Trickle down to them.

SPOT: Yeah, thatís it.

FOZZIE: You are an English Springer Spaniel, which is in the hunting group, and you are from Texas, a state that embraces the old west image. How do you feel about the NRA?

SPOT: I think itís a great organization.

FOZZIE: With all the controversy surrounding the NRA, donít you think it hurts your humans for you to say that?

SPOT: Sure the NRA has made some mistakes. What group hasnít? Oh, Iím not happy with the current president of the NRA and their positions can be a little extreme. But, Iím proud to say I am a member of the National Retriever Association.

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